| DEAD-ALIVE: GORIEST FILM IN AMERICAN HISTORY
So... above is the movie of the fuckin week! Dead-Alive (also called Braindead), is directed in 1992 by one Peter Jackson (Lord of the Rings, yup!). Dead-Alive is a comedy slash horror basically about zombies, and also received a 3.95 star critque. It is Jackson's first film, and I gotta tell ya, DAMN! It is proclaimed the 'goriest comedy/horror ever!', and it sure as hell is! The story line is: an explorer travels to New Zeland and captures a visoucous feind, a 'rat monkey', half rat half monkey (an ugly little bugga). The rat monkey is claimed to have superstious powers and brings bad luck and devilish omens with it wherever it goes. The explorer brings the monkey back with him and sells it to a local zoo. A not so innocent old lady, played by Elizabeth Moody, is then bitten by the damn thing and is now infected with its rage and horror. In the course of the next couple of days, the woman's son, played by Timonthy Balme, is taking care of his sick old mother when the mother is virtually 'rotting' away from the mysterious infection. One of the grossest scenes in the movie is when the mother has geusts over for dinner. She is still continuing to rot when the son brings out dessert: four bowls of mother's home-made custard. One of the geusts is so excited for the custard, he closes his eyes as he disgustingly shoves huge spoonfuls of custard into his mouth. The mother, halfway posessed by the infection, then squeezes her infected arm and a shot of blood and pus squirts right into the mans custard. Of course he eats it and everyone else just kinda sits there and watches. Hmmmm, yummy! Grandma's pus! So the humble son's mother soon after dies, well, almost dies, and they have a funeral with the whole family. But the mother is not dead, only sedated with some tranquilizer the son bought from a vet to keep is flesh-hungry mother asleep. After the funeral, the mother rises forth her grave and seeks out more flesh, when the local preist just kinda jumps out of no where and kicks some stinky zombie ass along with the phrase: "I kick ass for Jesus!". He too, of course is bitten and becomes a zombie. Stumbling upon the path of her son, the mother escapes the graveyard. Realizing that a grave will not suit his mother and her friends, the son has to stow them away in his basement or the authorities will take his dear, dear mum away and kill her, for good. Oh, and if any of you are into sick, gross zombie porno, there's plenty of that, too! The zombies and the son are eating at the table when there comes a knocking at the door. The son leaves the corpses to attend to keeping the secret when two of the zombies, a former nurse and priest start going at it on the dinning room table. Ewww. The zombie nurse then births a disgusting little malicous boy. What an ugly little bugga. So between the custard and the shagging dead people, there are a lot of really nasty scenes, but none even compare to grossness or even the coolness of the lawn mower scene. The climax begins when the son injects the zombies not with tranquilizer, but with poison, then barries the corpses' dead corspes in the basement. The boys uncle, played by Ian Watkin, throws a little shindig to lighten the mood a little. So not twenty feet from the dead ones there is a raging party in the house with swing dancers, chicks, and booze. Well, what the son injected into the zombies was not only poison, but animail stimulant. Oh shit, zombie steriods! So the zombies then break free and terrorize the party. More zombies crawl forth the blood and guts that line the floor up to the boy's ankels when he leaves the house the to the shed. He comes back, swings the door open to the main room...... with a lawn mower strapped to him, facing outwards. With a heroic scream, the boy starts walking forward through the zombies and over the limbs and guts on the floor, completey mowing through the dead as they strive to eat him. A very well but nasty scene, not suitable for those with weak stomachs. It rocks so hard! I suggest you go and rent this thriller from your local movie store and grab a bucket of KFC!!! Dead-Alive is a definite must-see.
--- AVA ps. check out http://www.movie-list.com/trailers.php?id=dead-alive for a trailer of Dead-Alive |
